my legs are definitely stronger now. i can stand for 4 hours straight without feeling muscles aches. haha. and my legs do feel less painful too even after a long day at work.
so i've finally started off with cashiering. it's quite simple actually, although some parts are abit confusing. i just need to slowly grasp the concepts and that should be all. the colleagues have been really patient with me and the other newbies. i'm thankful for that actually. even though the place is always packed with people almost all the time.
and i've seen alot fo people i know too. and my friends have been dropping by, i don't know why. is it like exciting to see me work at the counter? i don't know. thanks though for wasting your time (and my time!) for dropping by. oh i ran into into cikgu saripah too. but surprisingly she can't remember me at all.
i waved at her then she waved back. obviously she couldn't remember who i was, so i gave her the chance to stare at me at close range for a few seconds, and the name that came out of her mouth was not mine. right. what an anti-climax. so i explained myself, and we chatted a very short while. she says she can't remember her all of her students because she's taught alot of students.
that is, of course. but come on la cikgu! we were your last batch of students before you left our school to go to RI!(of course i didn't say it in front of her.) and we were your pioneer malay literature class batch, in fact the only 1 you taught before you left our school. and there were like, 14 of us in that small class? i admit i wasn't 1 of the more attention-grabbing students, but surely you should still remember me? memories of us would be fresher, logically. she remember shaz, when she ran into her last month. and shaz only takes higher malay! i took both! even after she walked away after the conversation, i wasn't fully convinced she actually remembered who i actually am. tsk tsk.
anyway last week had that class reunion dinner. i ate pizza that i asked von to order. the reast ate steamboat, and i only ate a measly prawn. then they did the lo hey thingy, and i couldn't bear to consume that, since it looked disgusting to me (sorry man!) anyway there's actually such things as halal lo hey. i'm like, what? okay la, it shouldn't be difficult to find halal lo hey snce it only consists of vegetables (errgh! simply disgusting!) and raw fish. it was nice to see back the classmates. i'm quite amazed we still meet up. i bet most of you don't even know what has happened to your own ex-classmates.
anyway arsenal lost last night. kinda disappointed, considering we opened the scoring first. i thought the unknown quantity that is the youth players of arsenal could have given chelsea a huge surprise. it did initially, but in the end chelsea nicked it. oh well. at least it proves arsenal's youngster have a very bright future in them. if the can match up to chelsea in a final, i guess they can match up to the hustle and bustle of the premiership then.
today on off, tomorrow back to work. feel like playing badminton this thursday with haekal, acop and rahman again. it's like a weekly ritual you know. my way (only way actually) of keeping fit. haha although we all tire very easily towards the end of the 2 hours.
everyday, i'm always wondering wondering who i'll run into at my workplace. the possibiilty of it is always very very high, it seems. oh well.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
ppp
i probably should call myself the gangster wrapper. or gangsta wrappa, ratha.
a la 50cent, but not quite.
i wrap like mad at work nowadays.
now pots, pans and porcelain (ppp i term them) is the norm for me at my workplace.
idiotic jerome. cursed me that i might be posted to the pots and pans department. and it REALLY turned out to just that. tsk tsk. everyday i wrap and wrap. still not proficient at it though, but definitely better with my hands now. haha.
pay's not good at all. but hey, this is the only job that i could get. better then idling away at home. at least i learn something, although not really mentally stimulating. kinda tests more on patience and endurance. haven't yet started with the cash register machine, but next week i'm quite sure i've to start cashiering. so no more gangsta-wrappa for me i guess. actually not really.
been reading a book on english words and terms that are actually imported and borrowed from other languages. some of them are really alien to me, but some of them we use itall the time, not knowing it actually is of foreign nature. like vice versa. or status quo. or even chic. and macho.
so everyday i do the same thing - wake up, go to work, read this book on the way to work( i'm done with it actually), work my ass off, thn go back and read it on the way home, then sleep.
i'm still trying to get used to such routines, but so far it has been okay. work hasn't really been a blast, but at least it ain't boring, although there's really alot of tedious things to do. like i said, at least there's things to do. even though the pay might never match anything else.
so i don't work for the next 3 days. but as always, nothing is ever open during these holidays.
i guess it's home sweet home for me then this weekend.
then got a steamboat next week at vonnie's house. more than 2 years ago it was christmas dinner at fab's house. so now is a chinese new year steamboat dinner. ah shall have to rush down from work then.
my legs are really aching like mad! tsk tsk. now i know the life behind the counter ain't so simple.
a la 50cent, but not quite.
i wrap like mad at work nowadays.
now pots, pans and porcelain (ppp i term them) is the norm for me at my workplace.
idiotic jerome. cursed me that i might be posted to the pots and pans department. and it REALLY turned out to just that. tsk tsk. everyday i wrap and wrap. still not proficient at it though, but definitely better with my hands now. haha.
pay's not good at all. but hey, this is the only job that i could get. better then idling away at home. at least i learn something, although not really mentally stimulating. kinda tests more on patience and endurance. haven't yet started with the cash register machine, but next week i'm quite sure i've to start cashiering. so no more gangsta-wrappa for me i guess. actually not really.
been reading a book on english words and terms that are actually imported and borrowed from other languages. some of them are really alien to me, but some of them we use itall the time, not knowing it actually is of foreign nature. like vice versa. or status quo. or even chic. and macho.
so everyday i do the same thing - wake up, go to work, read this book on the way to work( i'm done with it actually), work my ass off, thn go back and read it on the way home, then sleep.
i'm still trying to get used to such routines, but so far it has been okay. work hasn't really been a blast, but at least it ain't boring, although there's really alot of tedious things to do. like i said, at least there's things to do. even though the pay might never match anything else.
so i don't work for the next 3 days. but as always, nothing is ever open during these holidays.
i guess it's home sweet home for me then this weekend.
then got a steamboat next week at vonnie's house. more than 2 years ago it was christmas dinner at fab's house. so now is a chinese new year steamboat dinner. ah shall have to rush down from work then.
my legs are really aching like mad! tsk tsk. now i know the life behind the counter ain't so simple.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
shirts
i don't know why, but i keep seeing our football heroes these days.
on wednesday night and last night, i saw khairul amri. then just now i saw raddy avramovic.
so who's next for tomorrow? jj says it should be ridhuan muhd. haha. he of the bandaged head fame. but apparently he took out the stitches on his head all by himself.
i digress.
so i have gotten a job actually. i try not to be choosy so i just accepted it. then another offer comes along. which is more lucrative than the first one.
how now brown cow?
i haven't started work yet. i start on monday. but the 2nd job offer offers more - for less. but i only have had a verbal agreement for the first job, no contract signing etc done yet. but right now i'm very muddled up.
i accepted the first offer because it's so hard to get a part-time/temporary job nowadays. the pay is rather paltry i guess. but working there would probably open me up to a world i might not have seen before. but the 2nd job offers more money, for less hours. but its working conditions are so - safe. like it's really guarded.
ah i was already geared up to work on monday. i'm not really excited or anything, it's just that i jus want to know what my new job entails and such. it might be mundane, but it will be quite insightful i guess. it might make me a stronger person.
oh well.
on another note, i've been shopping these days - even though there's no sale going on now. so far i've spent jus over a hundred bucks on 4 shirts. haha. 3 dress shirts and 1 top from topman. tsk tsk. and river island is something like topman, but i think slightly more pricey, from what i observed just now.
on yet another note.
2 nights ago was the birthday dinner with nurul and the rest. i'm real glad even after all these years we primary school friends still meet up. it's amazing to see how each other have grown through the years. and cam-whoring is so fun! haha yes hatta, yours truly admit he's a cam-whore. okay i guess i kind of get in touch with this feminine( is that how you spell it?) side of mine. but then again, i already have a digital camera, so might as well shoot away all night long what! haha. if not for what i own a digital camera?
so tomorrow is another day of shopping for me - with jj and jimmy. haha. money's flowing out but not coming in. tsk tsk.
the other day i had no jobs at all. now i've got 2 offers! haha what a whirlwind life can be.
how now brown cow?
on wednesday night and last night, i saw khairul amri. then just now i saw raddy avramovic.
so who's next for tomorrow? jj says it should be ridhuan muhd. haha. he of the bandaged head fame. but apparently he took out the stitches on his head all by himself.
i digress.
so i have gotten a job actually. i try not to be choosy so i just accepted it. then another offer comes along. which is more lucrative than the first one.
how now brown cow?
i haven't started work yet. i start on monday. but the 2nd job offer offers more - for less. but i only have had a verbal agreement for the first job, no contract signing etc done yet. but right now i'm very muddled up.
i accepted the first offer because it's so hard to get a part-time/temporary job nowadays. the pay is rather paltry i guess. but working there would probably open me up to a world i might not have seen before. but the 2nd job offers more money, for less hours. but its working conditions are so - safe. like it's really guarded.
ah i was already geared up to work on monday. i'm not really excited or anything, it's just that i jus want to know what my new job entails and such. it might be mundane, but it will be quite insightful i guess. it might make me a stronger person.
oh well.
on another note, i've been shopping these days - even though there's no sale going on now. so far i've spent jus over a hundred bucks on 4 shirts. haha. 3 dress shirts and 1 top from topman. tsk tsk. and river island is something like topman, but i think slightly more pricey, from what i observed just now.
on yet another note.
2 nights ago was the birthday dinner with nurul and the rest. i'm real glad even after all these years we primary school friends still meet up. it's amazing to see how each other have grown through the years. and cam-whoring is so fun! haha yes hatta, yours truly admit he's a cam-whore. okay i guess i kind of get in touch with this feminine( is that how you spell it?) side of mine. but then again, i already have a digital camera, so might as well shoot away all night long what! haha. if not for what i own a digital camera?
so tomorrow is another day of shopping for me - with jj and jimmy. haha. money's flowing out but not coming in. tsk tsk.
the other day i had no jobs at all. now i've got 2 offers! haha what a whirlwind life can be.
how now brown cow?
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
ord
okay, so finally my nightmare has ended.
finally. errgh, the wait seemed like forever. for the past 2 years this is the day i have been waiting for, but it passed just like that. i'm not feeling so euphoric or ecstatic, it just feels like just another day. i don't know why.
everyone is really looking forward to this day, but yet is feel nothing inside. i don't know. ah must be the uncertainties that lie ahead. the end of something is almost always the beginning of something.
and i haven't even started to scout for jobs, and yet people have been asking me out here and there. tomorrow i'm out with marcus and wadi. thursday's dinner with the primary school friends. friday's job-hunting and maybe another game of badminton, and saturday could be a gathering of old camp mates. ah it's all so packed.
but i need a job, badly. my finances isn't that healthy, and it may plummet towards recession sooner rather than later it seems. i need the World Bank to save me! haha.
oh well. at least i've somewhat gotten my life back.
can't wait to start school. i don't mind starting school tomorrow, frankly speaking.but actually, i need a break.
come june - Kl here i come. i think.
finally. errgh, the wait seemed like forever. for the past 2 years this is the day i have been waiting for, but it passed just like that. i'm not feeling so euphoric or ecstatic, it just feels like just another day. i don't know why.
everyone is really looking forward to this day, but yet is feel nothing inside. i don't know. ah must be the uncertainties that lie ahead. the end of something is almost always the beginning of something.
and i haven't even started to scout for jobs, and yet people have been asking me out here and there. tomorrow i'm out with marcus and wadi. thursday's dinner with the primary school friends. friday's job-hunting and maybe another game of badminton, and saturday could be a gathering of old camp mates. ah it's all so packed.
but i need a job, badly. my finances isn't that healthy, and it may plummet towards recession sooner rather than later it seems. i need the World Bank to save me! haha.
oh well. at least i've somewhat gotten my life back.
can't wait to start school. i don't mind starting school tomorrow, frankly speaking.but actually, i need a break.
come june - Kl here i come. i think.
Monday, January 29, 2007
match
just came home from going out...to buy the singapore-thailand match tickets. yeah finally. was supposed to go down to catch saturday's match but the tickets sold out by 3pm. i was already ready to rush down in thomas' car but it wasn't to be. the whole weekend was then practically wasted away at home doing nothing but colelcting dust.
so this time round me and jerome couldn't take any chances. we reached jalan besar at close to 4 but the queue was quite long. took us around 20minutes or so before we could purchase the tickets. the fatigue on the faces of the people at the counter was clear - both of them had sore eyes! and they still had to work. so wednesday i'll be there cheering them on against the mighty thais.
seriously singapore played quite horribly against malaysia. i think me and jj got a common consensus. singapore wants to utilise alam shah's supposed aerial prowess but they can't even cross the ball properly. even the freekicks were wasted. and i don't think one needs to be an einstein to tell me indra is off-form. so is baihakki. baihakki is seriously a pale shadow of the player he was during the last tiger cup. and the defence is really shaky. bennett can't really take freekicks, contrary to what the players claim. ridhuan mohd can't cross the ball for nuts and shi jia yi hasn't impressed me enough.
of course i don't expect perfection. but seriously, what i see on the pitch and what is written on the newspapers do not match. so i think i should be expecting better from them this wednesday, since it is most probably the national stadium's last match ever.
frankly speaking i've never watched a match at the stadium before, although i've performed on the pitch itself many times with my military band in my heydays a few years back.
on another note.
finally i've won the international cup on winning 11 at level 5! haha big deal to some other people, but it's quite an achievement to me. been trying to do that for the past few months. finally did it! achieved it at 3am+ on sunday night/monday morning. finally!haha.
on yet another note.
i need to find work!
anyone got a decent propostion?
so this time round me and jerome couldn't take any chances. we reached jalan besar at close to 4 but the queue was quite long. took us around 20minutes or so before we could purchase the tickets. the fatigue on the faces of the people at the counter was clear - both of them had sore eyes! and they still had to work. so wednesday i'll be there cheering them on against the mighty thais.
seriously singapore played quite horribly against malaysia. i think me and jj got a common consensus. singapore wants to utilise alam shah's supposed aerial prowess but they can't even cross the ball properly. even the freekicks were wasted. and i don't think one needs to be an einstein to tell me indra is off-form. so is baihakki. baihakki is seriously a pale shadow of the player he was during the last tiger cup. and the defence is really shaky. bennett can't really take freekicks, contrary to what the players claim. ridhuan mohd can't cross the ball for nuts and shi jia yi hasn't impressed me enough.
of course i don't expect perfection. but seriously, what i see on the pitch and what is written on the newspapers do not match. so i think i should be expecting better from them this wednesday, since it is most probably the national stadium's last match ever.
frankly speaking i've never watched a match at the stadium before, although i've performed on the pitch itself many times with my military band in my heydays a few years back.
on another note.
finally i've won the international cup on winning 11 at level 5! haha big deal to some other people, but it's quite an achievement to me. been trying to do that for the past few months. finally did it! achieved it at 3am+ on sunday night/monday morning. finally!haha.
on yet another note.
i need to find work!
anyone got a decent propostion?
Sunday, January 21, 2007
slacking
things are very mundane nowadays.
i sleep quite alot in camp. in fact i even brought in a very detailed book about WWII to keep me preoccupied.
ah it's not those thick and wordy ones, is those with colour illustrations and almost 300 page thick. just what i need to get a grasp of the events of WWII. tomorrow i'll start on the chapter where the tide of the war now goes against the Nazi Germans.
it's quite exciting actually. well maybe to me actually, since history is probably the only i read in depth.
on another note.
my clumsiness has taken me to a higher level now. haha. think some of you might know just how clumsy i can be. and the stupidest of things that i could do. well yet another embarassing thing happened to me.
ever walked past by SMU? somewhere there by bras basah rd, there's this water fountain thingy, outside the li ka shing library. well i happened to walk past there on saturday with sheikh and iman. then i got a call. so while on the phone i started to lose my mind abit i think, apparently i slowly swayed too much to the left the woooosh!
damn it i stepped into the water structure. the thing looked like a flight of stairs but its full of water. i couldn't see since it was at night around 7+and the lighting was dim. i swear i didn't realise it was water. you gotta go see for yourselves how the water structure looks like.
well the aftermath was embarassing. my jeans were drenched up to my shin level. it was pretty obvious. then i just sat down exasperated. while the guys were laughing their socks off. well at least their socks were still dry. tsk tsk.
after various means of trying to get my jeans dry up it took like around 7 hours before my jeans really dried up. that night still carried on. played pool, played counter-strike for the 1st time ever and then hanged out till morning.
rather embarassing. well at least it didn't happen on my way to meet some girl on a date or what. haha. i'm so clumsy i wonder when i'll grow out of my clumsiness. it kinda stems from my blurredness or my stupidity somehow. it's all a mish-mash.
so far i've been to 2 birthday functions this month. everyone's like turning 21 this year. thinking of having 1 myself later in the year, but logistics-wise it will be quite a nightmare. still thinking.
well, good thing is the nightmare is going to end rather soon.
but it it isn't the end of everything it seems.
the end of something almost always means the beginning of another thing.
and somethings can never end just like that.
i sleep quite alot in camp. in fact i even brought in a very detailed book about WWII to keep me preoccupied.
ah it's not those thick and wordy ones, is those with colour illustrations and almost 300 page thick. just what i need to get a grasp of the events of WWII. tomorrow i'll start on the chapter where the tide of the war now goes against the Nazi Germans.
it's quite exciting actually. well maybe to me actually, since history is probably the only i read in depth.
on another note.
my clumsiness has taken me to a higher level now. haha. think some of you might know just how clumsy i can be. and the stupidest of things that i could do. well yet another embarassing thing happened to me.
ever walked past by SMU? somewhere there by bras basah rd, there's this water fountain thingy, outside the li ka shing library. well i happened to walk past there on saturday with sheikh and iman. then i got a call. so while on the phone i started to lose my mind abit i think, apparently i slowly swayed too much to the left the woooosh!
damn it i stepped into the water structure. the thing looked like a flight of stairs but its full of water. i couldn't see since it was at night around 7+and the lighting was dim. i swear i didn't realise it was water. you gotta go see for yourselves how the water structure looks like.
well the aftermath was embarassing. my jeans were drenched up to my shin level. it was pretty obvious. then i just sat down exasperated. while the guys were laughing their socks off. well at least their socks were still dry. tsk tsk.
after various means of trying to get my jeans dry up it took like around 7 hours before my jeans really dried up. that night still carried on. played pool, played counter-strike for the 1st time ever and then hanged out till morning.
rather embarassing. well at least it didn't happen on my way to meet some girl on a date or what. haha. i'm so clumsy i wonder when i'll grow out of my clumsiness. it kinda stems from my blurredness or my stupidity somehow. it's all a mish-mash.
so far i've been to 2 birthday functions this month. everyone's like turning 21 this year. thinking of having 1 myself later in the year, but logistics-wise it will be quite a nightmare. still thinking.
well, good thing is the nightmare is going to end rather soon.
but it it isn't the end of everything it seems.
the end of something almost always means the beginning of another thing.
and somethings can never end just like that.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
new yr
hey, happy new year!
oh i know, i haven't been blogging for quite sometime. pardon the laziness. my bad.
i guess i'll just blog on what happened in the day leading up to the new year and after that.
for starters, the class outing. the much-hyped one apparently. the one that i kinda volunteered to organise.
it went okay actually. although everyone else came late for the badminton game. there was me, jerome, fabian, thomas, vineson, gq, clarissa, yenlin, sarah and lingfang. we played for around 2 hours at the toa payoh sports hall. then we showered and then made our way to toa payoh central. waited for mr yong to come. dear old mr yong, my jc class form teacher. i haven't seen him since i collected my results for a levels almost 2 years ago. too bad mr tan and mr yap couldn't join us. tyan joined us for dinner too.
so we dined at swensens. and chatted. then we played pool for 2 hours near there. then me jerome fabian and thomas made our way to a pub at selegie road, supposedy to catch the liverpool-spurs match. but ended up watching man u-reading instead.
so the class outing went okay. it wasn't really a blast,but it wasn't really a disaster either. it's just wasted that some originally could make it but had to pull out last minute. it's really hard to get everyone coming over actually.
then the next day was hari raya haji. got to drive the aunt's car around abit. at night i went out to clarke quay. met up with hadi,lizzy, haryyany and shaz. shaz brought along her cousin from kl. and we walked around, and then went over to esplanade to catch the fireworks. then slacked around town, and catching the 1st (or rather 2nd train) home. no cabs wanted to take us in, so we decided to waste time away till the first train.
i got home at close to 8am on new year's day. later that day i went out again, this time with fab and jj. got a shirt for myself from pull and bear at taka. and after that caught the liverpool-bolton game at chjimes. and on the 2nd i was on duty in camp.
so now it's already 2007. i'm going to ord quite soon. but i'm really taking things with alot of caution. things havent't really panned out well for me so far. i really hope everything else won't affect me. because it might just have an adverse effect on me. until then all i can say is jus i've keep my head up and put on a brave front i guess. hope things will turn out okay for me in the end.
i really do.
God please help me.
oh i know, i haven't been blogging for quite sometime. pardon the laziness. my bad.
i guess i'll just blog on what happened in the day leading up to the new year and after that.
for starters, the class outing. the much-hyped one apparently. the one that i kinda volunteered to organise.
it went okay actually. although everyone else came late for the badminton game. there was me, jerome, fabian, thomas, vineson, gq, clarissa, yenlin, sarah and lingfang. we played for around 2 hours at the toa payoh sports hall. then we showered and then made our way to toa payoh central. waited for mr yong to come. dear old mr yong, my jc class form teacher. i haven't seen him since i collected my results for a levels almost 2 years ago. too bad mr tan and mr yap couldn't join us. tyan joined us for dinner too.
so we dined at swensens. and chatted. then we played pool for 2 hours near there. then me jerome fabian and thomas made our way to a pub at selegie road, supposedy to catch the liverpool-spurs match. but ended up watching man u-reading instead.
so the class outing went okay. it wasn't really a blast,but it wasn't really a disaster either. it's just wasted that some originally could make it but had to pull out last minute. it's really hard to get everyone coming over actually.
then the next day was hari raya haji. got to drive the aunt's car around abit. at night i went out to clarke quay. met up with hadi,lizzy, haryyany and shaz. shaz brought along her cousin from kl. and we walked around, and then went over to esplanade to catch the fireworks. then slacked around town, and catching the 1st (or rather 2nd train) home. no cabs wanted to take us in, so we decided to waste time away till the first train.
i got home at close to 8am on new year's day. later that day i went out again, this time with fab and jj. got a shirt for myself from pull and bear at taka. and after that caught the liverpool-bolton game at chjimes. and on the 2nd i was on duty in camp.
so now it's already 2007. i'm going to ord quite soon. but i'm really taking things with alot of caution. things havent't really panned out well for me so far. i really hope everything else won't affect me. because it might just have an adverse effect on me. until then all i can say is jus i've keep my head up and put on a brave front i guess. hope things will turn out okay for me in the end.
i really do.
God please help me.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
end of year
so the end of year beckons.
what have i really achieved this year?
frankly speaking, nothing much to brag about. oh well except the much coveted driving licence. and alot of my materialistic aims have been achieved (upgrading the whole computer system, shoes, clothes etc).
on a side note, let me go through again how much i've been in these tow months (nov and dec) alone!
$149 + $25 + $399 + $69 + $178 + $15 = $835
wow. a grand total of $835. that doesn't even include all those spent on transport and food and the what-nots. right.
anyway the $174 was spent of two shoes, 1, an asics running shoes and another an adidas sneakers. i'm really thinking of buying that converse pair that costs just under $50. ah i'm really stocking up for my life after life.
back to the main topic.
what i've gained from this whole? actually it;s only lessons. lessons for life. things that only life in ns could have thought me at this stage of my life. like how i realise now, people are really diverse in every way possible. the only similiarity is that we are all human beings and that's all. people of all kinds of characters, personalities that you thought could never exist do actually exist.
it is interesting, this point, because it leads to another point - how do you deal with such a variety of people? since everyone else presents to you a different type of character and personality, definitely dealing with them cannot be through using a standard method. and so i've realised that i've really gotta handle different people differently. if not, i might just hurt their feelings, or they might get the wrong perception of me. it's a give and take world, i guess. it's all so complex.
and working withpeople can be such a chore. and that would lead to another point - what about my future working life? what if i don't really personally like my colleagues? so how? i can;t really choose how i want my colleagues to be like. i can't choose my working environtment, neither can i choose my superiors. it's all fated to be like that, like it or not. freedom to choose is really bullshit i guess. how can one choose how they want to live? given the aspirations and the needs that we need to fulfil, are we really able to live life they way we want it? i think that's too much wishful thinking.
life is really about choices, they say. but some things have already been pre-decided for you. so what's there to be choosy about? anyway in singapore, i believe there's not much of a choice on how we can really live our lives. it's all so preset, so pre-determined, so fake.
well, we ain't got much of choice do we? life goes on, and you live only once. oh well.
on a brighter note, the jc class gathering that i'm organinsing, the response has been quite encouraging. i hope things turn out okay though. i'mn really looking forward to it, since everyone hasn't seen each other for quite a while. hope all goes to plan and almost all will turn out.
looking forward to the new year, and of course, the life after life!
what have i really achieved this year?
frankly speaking, nothing much to brag about. oh well except the much coveted driving licence. and alot of my materialistic aims have been achieved (upgrading the whole computer system, shoes, clothes etc).
on a side note, let me go through again how much i've been in these tow months (nov and dec) alone!
$149 + $25 + $399 + $69 + $178 + $15 = $835
wow. a grand total of $835. that doesn't even include all those spent on transport and food and the what-nots. right.
anyway the $174 was spent of two shoes, 1, an asics running shoes and another an adidas sneakers. i'm really thinking of buying that converse pair that costs just under $50. ah i'm really stocking up for my life after life.
back to the main topic.
what i've gained from this whole? actually it;s only lessons. lessons for life. things that only life in ns could have thought me at this stage of my life. like how i realise now, people are really diverse in every way possible. the only similiarity is that we are all human beings and that's all. people of all kinds of characters, personalities that you thought could never exist do actually exist.
it is interesting, this point, because it leads to another point - how do you deal with such a variety of people? since everyone else presents to you a different type of character and personality, definitely dealing with them cannot be through using a standard method. and so i've realised that i've really gotta handle different people differently. if not, i might just hurt their feelings, or they might get the wrong perception of me. it's a give and take world, i guess. it's all so complex.
and working withpeople can be such a chore. and that would lead to another point - what about my future working life? what if i don't really personally like my colleagues? so how? i can;t really choose how i want my colleagues to be like. i can't choose my working environtment, neither can i choose my superiors. it's all fated to be like that, like it or not. freedom to choose is really bullshit i guess. how can one choose how they want to live? given the aspirations and the needs that we need to fulfil, are we really able to live life they way we want it? i think that's too much wishful thinking.
life is really about choices, they say. but some things have already been pre-decided for you. so what's there to be choosy about? anyway in singapore, i believe there's not much of a choice on how we can really live our lives. it's all so preset, so pre-determined, so fake.
well, we ain't got much of choice do we? life goes on, and you live only once. oh well.
on a brighter note, the jc class gathering that i'm organinsing, the response has been quite encouraging. i hope things turn out okay though. i'mn really looking forward to it, since everyone hasn't seen each other for quite a while. hope all goes to plan and almost all will turn out.
looking forward to the new year, and of course, the life after life!
Sunday, December 03, 2006
december
it's been a while since i last updated.
so i'll try and condense it all.
finally december beckons! the recruits will be passing out soon, and my time is also coming up. another 8 more weeks to go before it all ends! haha. although i'm just taking things a day at a time. but december would still be a busy month for me. i've still got alot of duties to do, and not much leave to clear. i can't even go for my secondary 2 class outing on the 10th. boo hoo. i haven't seen them for a very long time, must have been eons i think.
well last week, like any other kiasu singaporean i went down to the creative warehouse sale. got lucky and purchased the creative zen neeon 6gb player worth $149. i know, i know, it ain't the new creative zen neeon 2, but hey, i'm looking for something value for my money. 6gb for $149, i think is a bargain. but there's some problems with the installation cd, so i haven't been able to use it yet. oh well, gotta call them up i guess. but the digicam looks real good. and
but my sister, i guess abit jealous with my purchase, on her own went down to plaza singapura 3 days ago to get her own mp3 player. but not worth the money. a creative zen muvo n200 (an even oler model), 1gb at $109. at the sale it went for $69, and even had a promotion price of buy 2 at $130! too rushed in her decision, so i told her off. what a waste of money, i feel.
oh yesterday i drove around for the whole day. my aunt and uncle left for thailand for a holiday, so the car was lent to us. we sent them off at the airport and the made our way to the expo. i wanted to see around for any bargains for a digital camera, and i got 1. although it's quite expensive to me ($399), but i guess i got a good deal. an olympus 6.0 camera. quite sleek looking too, although i wanted to buy 1 within the proce range of $200+. but the digital camera looks real good, and i think i got myself quite a good deal.
and then we dropped by john little, and drove around singapore here and there. at night i drove myself here and there. what a field day i had. but at night when i reached home and wanted to turn right into the carpark, something blocked the way. an accident had happened so i had to go in by another way. quite a horrible accident. from the way i looked at it, it seemed as if the van was making a right turn but didn't see the motorcyclist speeding towards his direction. the motobike was completely damaged, but i think the guy got sent to hospital. the junction in front of my black is a hazardous area. every now and then there's bound to be accidents here and there.
i guess it's things like these that make you wake up about the dangers of driving on the roads. reality will strike you hard if we don't make an effort to drive safely.
looking forward to the end of the month! till then good day!
so i'll try and condense it all.
finally december beckons! the recruits will be passing out soon, and my time is also coming up. another 8 more weeks to go before it all ends! haha. although i'm just taking things a day at a time. but december would still be a busy month for me. i've still got alot of duties to do, and not much leave to clear. i can't even go for my secondary 2 class outing on the 10th. boo hoo. i haven't seen them for a very long time, must have been eons i think.
well last week, like any other kiasu singaporean i went down to the creative warehouse sale. got lucky and purchased the creative zen neeon 6gb player worth $149. i know, i know, it ain't the new creative zen neeon 2, but hey, i'm looking for something value for my money. 6gb for $149, i think is a bargain. but there's some problems with the installation cd, so i haven't been able to use it yet. oh well, gotta call them up i guess. but the digicam looks real good. and
but my sister, i guess abit jealous with my purchase, on her own went down to plaza singapura 3 days ago to get her own mp3 player. but not worth the money. a creative zen muvo n200 (an even oler model), 1gb at $109. at the sale it went for $69, and even had a promotion price of buy 2 at $130! too rushed in her decision, so i told her off. what a waste of money, i feel.
oh yesterday i drove around for the whole day. my aunt and uncle left for thailand for a holiday, so the car was lent to us. we sent them off at the airport and the made our way to the expo. i wanted to see around for any bargains for a digital camera, and i got 1. although it's quite expensive to me ($399), but i guess i got a good deal. an olympus 6.0 camera. quite sleek looking too, although i wanted to buy 1 within the proce range of $200+. but the digital camera looks real good, and i think i got myself quite a good deal.
and then we dropped by john little, and drove around singapore here and there. at night i drove myself here and there. what a field day i had. but at night when i reached home and wanted to turn right into the carpark, something blocked the way. an accident had happened so i had to go in by another way. quite a horrible accident. from the way i looked at it, it seemed as if the van was making a right turn but didn't see the motorcyclist speeding towards his direction. the motobike was completely damaged, but i think the guy got sent to hospital. the junction in front of my black is a hazardous area. every now and then there's bound to be accidents here and there.
i guess it's things like these that make you wake up about the dangers of driving on the roads. reality will strike you hard if we don't make an effort to drive safely.
looking forward to the end of the month! till then good day!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
extra
finally i'm back home after being locked away for so long in camp.
yesterday i was on duty on a borin g boring saturday, so i actually had a movie marathon of my own. a grand total of 5 hours, all of which i've never watched before. first i watched munich. then i finished up hitler: the rise of evil. followed by this chinese movie called love and the city, and then paradise now. lastly i watched cast away on channel 5. haha. but it's sad enough i can't go out hari raya with my secondary school mates or with the people i went to kl with in december 2004. or the play at esplanade next week. haha it's a real sad life.
next week's gonna be the same. life is so mundane. i hope december will be power packed. december sounds like it has alot of things in store for me. can probably look forward to the class outings. or even the trip to kl. and the short break. and xmas holidays, and hari raya haji. and the fact that my nightmare is in its closing chapters. although i must admit this month i'll be really slaving it out, since it's really so packed. i don't think i'll ever go out this month.
i think i'll get myself an ipod. how soon i don't know. and the digital camera too. and the shoes, i'll have to get them at kl i hope! and a few tops or whatever. i don't know, i just wanna get out of here and scram to somewhere better.
it's a real sad life now.
feels like i should be screaming.
yesterday i was on duty on a borin g boring saturday, so i actually had a movie marathon of my own. a grand total of 5 hours, all of which i've never watched before. first i watched munich. then i finished up hitler: the rise of evil. followed by this chinese movie called love and the city, and then paradise now. lastly i watched cast away on channel 5. haha. but it's sad enough i can't go out hari raya with my secondary school mates or with the people i went to kl with in december 2004. or the play at esplanade next week. haha it's a real sad life.
next week's gonna be the same. life is so mundane. i hope december will be power packed. december sounds like it has alot of things in store for me. can probably look forward to the class outings. or even the trip to kl. and the short break. and xmas holidays, and hari raya haji. and the fact that my nightmare is in its closing chapters. although i must admit this month i'll be really slaving it out, since it's really so packed. i don't think i'll ever go out this month.
i think i'll get myself an ipod. how soon i don't know. and the digital camera too. and the shoes, i'll have to get them at kl i hope! and a few tops or whatever. i don't know, i just wanna get out of here and scram to somewhere better.
it's a real sad life now.
feels like i should be screaming.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
raya
so i have been driving around lately.
on the 1st day of raya i drove around my aunt's mitsubishi lancer and my uncle's toyota wish. haha it's quite cool to drive actually. braving myself against e elements of the roads. but haha, apparently i drive too fast,above the speed limit, especially on the highways.
like just now. 110 on the kje. tsk tsk. haha, especially for new drivers like me. but im getting the feel of it i guess, especially when driving in packed areas, or driving in multi-storey carparks. i guess i've somewhat got the hang of how to park openly and in the multi-storey carparks. but of course, such things need more experience and practice. which i won't get that much. well, i guess that bmw will have to wait another 15 years then.haha.
oh and i drove in johor on day 2 of raya. and i was a complete idiot. from the customs in jb to my kampong, it takes about 20mins by car. i drove there in my uncle's proton wira. drove at max 80. the thing was, after i reached my kampong, i realised that i didn't let go of the handbrake AT ALL. the whole time i was driving at 80 with the handbrake not released. can u imagine that? i probably burned through the whole brake system (which i hope didn't happen, although my uncle didn't say anything!). i felt really bad about it, 'cause i know the brake would have heated up pretty much alot. really hope it's all ok. it doesn't help that his wira is quite old and broken down here and there.
but at least i could go back to my kampong and visit my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousin. oh i have this hot cousin from my kampong! haha. she's really attractive. the thing is, i don't know her name, her age. i'm serious. the thing about my paternal side is that it's rather shady. far flung relatives, divorces, marriages turning bad and the unwillingness to keep in contact. i think this hot cousin of mine is younger than i am, but that's about it. i was like wow, since when i had such a hot cousin?haha. oh well i guess the next time i'll see her is next year then. next year then i ask! haha.
so far raya's been okay. i didn't get much money,but i'm not complaining. it's really about meeting the people you don't see everyday, and catch up on their lives and stuffs. and see how people grow up so fast. and people will admire how i've grown up so fast. haha it's all the same.
what are you doing now? after NS do what? in NS what's your vocation? wah why are you so dark? wah, you're so tall! and the rare questions will come like where's the wife? (someone asked this just now!) haha. it's all very mundane but hey, it's fun to see the far-flung relatives and the 2nd and 3rd cousins etc.
ah but next week i'm confined in camp, so no visiting! ah i guess there's always next year.
ah till then, selamat hari raya all!
on the 1st day of raya i drove around my aunt's mitsubishi lancer and my uncle's toyota wish. haha it's quite cool to drive actually. braving myself against e elements of the roads. but haha, apparently i drive too fast,above the speed limit, especially on the highways.
like just now. 110 on the kje. tsk tsk. haha, especially for new drivers like me. but im getting the feel of it i guess, especially when driving in packed areas, or driving in multi-storey carparks. i guess i've somewhat got the hang of how to park openly and in the multi-storey carparks. but of course, such things need more experience and practice. which i won't get that much. well, i guess that bmw will have to wait another 15 years then.haha.
oh and i drove in johor on day 2 of raya. and i was a complete idiot. from the customs in jb to my kampong, it takes about 20mins by car. i drove there in my uncle's proton wira. drove at max 80. the thing was, after i reached my kampong, i realised that i didn't let go of the handbrake AT ALL. the whole time i was driving at 80 with the handbrake not released. can u imagine that? i probably burned through the whole brake system (which i hope didn't happen, although my uncle didn't say anything!). i felt really bad about it, 'cause i know the brake would have heated up pretty much alot. really hope it's all ok. it doesn't help that his wira is quite old and broken down here and there.
but at least i could go back to my kampong and visit my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousin. oh i have this hot cousin from my kampong! haha. she's really attractive. the thing is, i don't know her name, her age. i'm serious. the thing about my paternal side is that it's rather shady. far flung relatives, divorces, marriages turning bad and the unwillingness to keep in contact. i think this hot cousin of mine is younger than i am, but that's about it. i was like wow, since when i had such a hot cousin?haha. oh well i guess the next time i'll see her is next year then. next year then i ask! haha.
so far raya's been okay. i didn't get much money,but i'm not complaining. it's really about meeting the people you don't see everyday, and catch up on their lives and stuffs. and see how people grow up so fast. and people will admire how i've grown up so fast. haha it's all the same.
what are you doing now? after NS do what? in NS what's your vocation? wah why are you so dark? wah, you're so tall! and the rare questions will come like where's the wife? (someone asked this just now!) haha. it's all very mundane but hey, it's fun to see the far-flung relatives and the 2nd and 3rd cousins etc.
ah but next week i'm confined in camp, so no visiting! ah i guess there's always next year.
ah till then, selamat hari raya all!
Monday, October 23, 2006
hari raya
so today is the last day of fasting. flashback to a year ago.
i was actually charging up and down the forests and hills of taiwan. and on hari raya itself, we were all so down, and even ended up crying together. to be away in a the jungles of a foreign land on the most celebrated day in the muslim calendar is a really harrowing experience.
so fast forward back to today. still i can't feel the hari raya mood. it doesn't help that alot of weekends will be burnt in camp. oh well, life's like that. on a brighter note i didnt skip a single day of fastingh since day 1. which is quite an achievement. although i did try to find avenues to try and sleep and rest as an when i could in camp. but i guess this wasn't such a great ramadhan for me, i think and i hope to do better for the next month. basically the only plus point was that i didn't skip any days.
although this year i sent out quite a few hari raya cards. realised after going through my stuffs i had some hari raya cards left, so why not send them out? although not all have received them. haha but the feedback is always the same - you're probably the ONLY one to send me a hari raya card this year, or this will probably be my ONLY hari raya card this year, and that my handwriting is totally illegible.
i plead guilty to e 2nd point. firstly my handwriting isn't as neat as it used to be 10 years ago. secondly i had to rush through to make the cards! but haha even i myself have problems figuring out my own handwriting sometimes. so sorry for the illegibility though! haha, shall work on it the next time round.
i myself didn't receive any this year, since its more convenient for people to just sms each other. haha i only got a note by mail from clare and attached to it a replacement commie chain for the one that i lost last month. haha thanks though, even if it isn't really a hari raya card! haha. at least something came through the mail.
anyway yesterday i dropped by fab's house. he went to china last week and bought me communist stuffs from there. a whole lot of things. especially the huge ass mao zedong posters. oh and i have an english little red book! and a mao bag, a mao lighter, a mao pendant clock and mao badges. everything mao!
so mistake me for having a morbid perversion for all things communist. its just a simple fascincation with communism, especially soviet russia. imagine how such a ideology that many believed could never work but could scare the whole globe for 50 years or so. everyone was so paranoid about whoever was communist, and as far as possible everyone else tried to wipe them out. even though the USSR eventually collapsed, but it's legacy still prevails. and people still fear communism, even though they know it's an ideology doomed to fail.
and communism has thar fervour, the nationalistic fervour, the patriotic fervour. that was able to drive home the point to masses that live in then USSR n China. that was able to galvanise the masses in the efforts of building up the country. of achieving the communist utopia. amazing isn't it? such an ideology could drive millions to actually conslave themselves for the good of the nation.
but i'm not a commie, strictly speaking. i just find the whole commie thing fascinating and interesting. haha. someday i shall go to moscow and probably st. petersburg and collect even more relics from the days of the USSR! haha stalins mini-statuettes, badges, uniform, propaganda posters and what not! haha. someday i hope i can go!
so to all of you, apologies to anyone whom i've hurt through my actions and words.
and with that selamat hari raya!
i was actually charging up and down the forests and hills of taiwan. and on hari raya itself, we were all so down, and even ended up crying together. to be away in a the jungles of a foreign land on the most celebrated day in the muslim calendar is a really harrowing experience.
so fast forward back to today. still i can't feel the hari raya mood. it doesn't help that alot of weekends will be burnt in camp. oh well, life's like that. on a brighter note i didnt skip a single day of fastingh since day 1. which is quite an achievement. although i did try to find avenues to try and sleep and rest as an when i could in camp. but i guess this wasn't such a great ramadhan for me, i think and i hope to do better for the next month. basically the only plus point was that i didn't skip any days.
although this year i sent out quite a few hari raya cards. realised after going through my stuffs i had some hari raya cards left, so why not send them out? although not all have received them. haha but the feedback is always the same - you're probably the ONLY one to send me a hari raya card this year, or this will probably be my ONLY hari raya card this year, and that my handwriting is totally illegible.
i plead guilty to e 2nd point. firstly my handwriting isn't as neat as it used to be 10 years ago. secondly i had to rush through to make the cards! but haha even i myself have problems figuring out my own handwriting sometimes. so sorry for the illegibility though! haha, shall work on it the next time round.
i myself didn't receive any this year, since its more convenient for people to just sms each other. haha i only got a note by mail from clare and attached to it a replacement commie chain for the one that i lost last month. haha thanks though, even if it isn't really a hari raya card! haha. at least something came through the mail.
anyway yesterday i dropped by fab's house. he went to china last week and bought me communist stuffs from there. a whole lot of things. especially the huge ass mao zedong posters. oh and i have an english little red book! and a mao bag, a mao lighter, a mao pendant clock and mao badges. everything mao!
so mistake me for having a morbid perversion for all things communist. its just a simple fascincation with communism, especially soviet russia. imagine how such a ideology that many believed could never work but could scare the whole globe for 50 years or so. everyone was so paranoid about whoever was communist, and as far as possible everyone else tried to wipe them out. even though the USSR eventually collapsed, but it's legacy still prevails. and people still fear communism, even though they know it's an ideology doomed to fail.
and communism has thar fervour, the nationalistic fervour, the patriotic fervour. that was able to drive home the point to masses that live in then USSR n China. that was able to galvanise the masses in the efforts of building up the country. of achieving the communist utopia. amazing isn't it? such an ideology could drive millions to actually conslave themselves for the good of the nation.
but i'm not a commie, strictly speaking. i just find the whole commie thing fascinating and interesting. haha. someday i shall go to moscow and probably st. petersburg and collect even more relics from the days of the USSR! haha stalins mini-statuettes, badges, uniform, propaganda posters and what not! haha. someday i hope i can go!
so to all of you, apologies to anyone whom i've hurt through my actions and words.
and with that selamat hari raya!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
rock climbing
my body is aching right now.
firstly, i went to the gym for the first time since before i enlisted yesterday and had a short workout that lasted around 40 minutes maybe?
secondly today i went indoor rock climbing for the 1st time ever! with hisham and marcus. at this place at rangoon road. oh i suck at climbing, it's real hard when you've got no strength. gripping is so hard, and i'm now having callouses at my finger joints. now the pain has subsided though.
but rock climbing is a real eye opener for me. for someone who would rather laze around, it's quite interesting actually. to actually challenge yourself and see how far you can climb. i couldn't really scale that far, since i'm quite a novice, and i'm really not that cut out for this. but actually i realised what they said is true - gripping is one thing, but actually footwork is very crucial too. it helps to ease the pain exerted by the body on the hand actually.
but i kept falling down on the mattress. haha i guess my arms are too small. well that's what hafizah said - "yusri looks bigger now, but his arms are still small." i was like what?haha. what a comment. but it's true i guess. must beef up my arms! they look so spaghetti-like to me!haha.
must work out, hit the weights, probably climb around abit more here n there, and then i'll have the "i jsut came out of NS" body. haha. but the thing is i'm so darn freaking lazy.
anyway, on second thoughts i might just want to matriculate earlier. well i don't want to hang around in the outside world for too long. i want to get back to the 'hit the books' mood again, so that i won't lag behind so much when i come in next year.
ah alot of things on my mind now. things that i need to do next year expecially. all my thought are already on 2007! how i'm gonna organise myself, gonna get things ready for school, gonna do something about the mess in my room, gonna but this and that, gonna change things around etc etc. next year will be quite exciting i feel! can't wait actually for the year's end to come.
for then nightmare will then draw to its closing chapter.
firstly, i went to the gym for the first time since before i enlisted yesterday and had a short workout that lasted around 40 minutes maybe?
secondly today i went indoor rock climbing for the 1st time ever! with hisham and marcus. at this place at rangoon road. oh i suck at climbing, it's real hard when you've got no strength. gripping is so hard, and i'm now having callouses at my finger joints. now the pain has subsided though.
but rock climbing is a real eye opener for me. for someone who would rather laze around, it's quite interesting actually. to actually challenge yourself and see how far you can climb. i couldn't really scale that far, since i'm quite a novice, and i'm really not that cut out for this. but actually i realised what they said is true - gripping is one thing, but actually footwork is very crucial too. it helps to ease the pain exerted by the body on the hand actually.
but i kept falling down on the mattress. haha i guess my arms are too small. well that's what hafizah said - "yusri looks bigger now, but his arms are still small." i was like what?haha. what a comment. but it's true i guess. must beef up my arms! they look so spaghetti-like to me!haha.
must work out, hit the weights, probably climb around abit more here n there, and then i'll have the "i jsut came out of NS" body. haha. but the thing is i'm so darn freaking lazy.
anyway, on second thoughts i might just want to matriculate earlier. well i don't want to hang around in the outside world for too long. i want to get back to the 'hit the books' mood again, so that i won't lag behind so much when i come in next year.
ah alot of things on my mind now. things that i need to do next year expecially. all my thought are already on 2007! how i'm gonna organise myself, gonna get things ready for school, gonna do something about the mess in my room, gonna but this and that, gonna change things around etc etc. next year will be quite exciting i feel! can't wait actually for the year's end to come.
for then nightmare will then draw to its closing chapter.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
class
so i'm actually blogging from camp now. had to drag my sorry ass just to book in in the morning today. but yesterday was an eventful day.
went down to NUS yesterday with some of my secondary school friends, for that early matriculation talk. found out after all that even if i go matriculate early, i might never graduate earlier. they encouraged us to actually take up the special term as a means of finding our feet back in the study mode, after 2 years of a brain freeze in NS. so in that case i might not marticulate early. i guess i'll find a job first. i might actually work under wesley and make waffles for 1.2K a month. haha.
but i do want to travel. there's a certain yearning in me about travelling. about seeing things i don't see everyday. i wanna go to Eastern Europe! and Moscow and St. Petersburg! but it's too expensive, and i am sure to get lost. furthermore i might have to consume bread all the way through my trip i guess. but i wann go somewhere. reading the trips and expeditions that i read on the SAFRA newsletters seem interesting to me.haha. i might wanna try next year, we'll see how.
and then yesterday night i went to break fast with azhari, rushdy, hatta and shahidah. at this place called ramen ten at jubilee amg mo kio. not too bad, the food. although they didnt give us the dates that we ordered. i ordered some dry ramen, and it tasted quite all right. quite affordable too. ah it's always fun to catch up on each other's life and to reminisce.
and then we chilled at coffee bean at junction 8. by then hatta had left but nurul joined us later on. haha and we had more laughs and alot more discussions. wow, so it means ive met up with them more times this year alone than i had for the past 8 years since i left primary school. for such a ad-hoc and a haphazardly organised outing held by none other than yours truly, the turn out was considered not bad i guess. haha. next time we shall do it once more.
and reeza keeps asking me weird and thought-provoking questions! hmm! haha. very werid and out of the blue type, which baffles me! it's just so....weird.
ah my voice feels so weird too and i've now phlegm in my throat. ah the sickness that has gripped me since friday hasn't gone away. i'm still not 100% yet, probably 75% only?haha.
life is so mundane now. sometimes i feel like just dropping everything down and just run away.
things just seem so meaningless all the time. likes there's no purpose in doing things.
ah i wish all this would just end now.
went down to NUS yesterday with some of my secondary school friends, for that early matriculation talk. found out after all that even if i go matriculate early, i might never graduate earlier. they encouraged us to actually take up the special term as a means of finding our feet back in the study mode, after 2 years of a brain freeze in NS. so in that case i might not marticulate early. i guess i'll find a job first. i might actually work under wesley and make waffles for 1.2K a month. haha.
but i do want to travel. there's a certain yearning in me about travelling. about seeing things i don't see everyday. i wanna go to Eastern Europe! and Moscow and St. Petersburg! but it's too expensive, and i am sure to get lost. furthermore i might have to consume bread all the way through my trip i guess. but i wann go somewhere. reading the trips and expeditions that i read on the SAFRA newsletters seem interesting to me.haha. i might wanna try next year, we'll see how.
and then yesterday night i went to break fast with azhari, rushdy, hatta and shahidah. at this place called ramen ten at jubilee amg mo kio. not too bad, the food. although they didnt give us the dates that we ordered. i ordered some dry ramen, and it tasted quite all right. quite affordable too. ah it's always fun to catch up on each other's life and to reminisce.
and then we chilled at coffee bean at junction 8. by then hatta had left but nurul joined us later on. haha and we had more laughs and alot more discussions. wow, so it means ive met up with them more times this year alone than i had for the past 8 years since i left primary school. for such a ad-hoc and a haphazardly organised outing held by none other than yours truly, the turn out was considered not bad i guess. haha. next time we shall do it once more.
and reeza keeps asking me weird and thought-provoking questions! hmm! haha. very werid and out of the blue type, which baffles me! it's just so....weird.
ah my voice feels so weird too and i've now phlegm in my throat. ah the sickness that has gripped me since friday hasn't gone away. i'm still not 100% yet, probably 75% only?haha.
life is so mundane now. sometimes i feel like just dropping everything down and just run away.
things just seem so meaningless all the time. likes there's no purpose in doing things.
ah i wish all this would just end now.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
break
ok so i got to book out for a while. tomorrowing morning gotta head back to camp. i booked out just to tend to a letter from NUS that needed my signature and the letter be posted back to them. and i've got the real driving licence! yeah! although my hair looks retarded in the photo.haha.
on a not so bright side, i almost got charged again in camp. but all should be okay now so worries. it's just disturbing that i'm always inviting trouble to myself without me realising it, and always getting myself into hot soup. i'm not really a troublemaker, it's just that at times i just cannot be bothered with things. either that or i'm just plain unlucky. and i've just found out i might be in hot soup for another incident which is totally not of my fault, nevertheless at the back of my mind i feel abit uneasy. oh well.
and things are getting so mundane. every day in camp is just a dread. things are going at a snail's pace, and sunday feels like a tuesday, monday feels like a saturday. i've lost my sense of time, and everytime i feel very lethargic. coupled with the haze and the boredom of things. i'm totally having the 'whatever!' attitude right now.
been spending alot of time with iman in camp nowadays, he's like a very close buddy to me. in our conversations we have touched on alot of things, and we have agreed on a few things. and 1 things stands out.
the fact that we both find women, or girls, or whatever, to be very ridiculous in nature. or in malay, 'perempuan memang merepek!' really. i can quote specific examples, but as of now i'm already treading on dangerous paths. hence i shall keep them to myselves. but really. nowadays i find the behaviour, the attitude and the mindset of girls to be particularly disturbing. sometimes some girls are hypocrites themselves. and with the emotions and all, it doesn't really helps. one moment they can say they won't do 1 thing, the next moment you see them doing the exact same thing they said they would never do. they expect us to be forgiving when they themselves aren't. some even go back on their words, and never keep their promises. some just have this attitude that simply isn't ladylike. and guys are suppose to please such girls? please la, i think guys got better things to do.
as i say i'm referring to the general female generation as a whole. and i'm not sexist, or an egoist. or do i champion the notion that guys are superior to girls. i just feel that females can never think rationally and sensibly, what with all the emotions and their 'heart vs head' thing, and or their politicking and backbiting whatnot. which results in my phrase - 'perempuan memang merepek'.
which is really true. for all the childish and immature manners of guys nowadays, at least i believe most are level-headed and can think rationally and sensibly. we are not so emotionally unstable i guess.
oh well, like i said, it is just an opinion. so don't throw your kitchen sink at me girls.
as they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
on a not so bright side, i almost got charged again in camp. but all should be okay now so worries. it's just disturbing that i'm always inviting trouble to myself without me realising it, and always getting myself into hot soup. i'm not really a troublemaker, it's just that at times i just cannot be bothered with things. either that or i'm just plain unlucky. and i've just found out i might be in hot soup for another incident which is totally not of my fault, nevertheless at the back of my mind i feel abit uneasy. oh well.
and things are getting so mundane. every day in camp is just a dread. things are going at a snail's pace, and sunday feels like a tuesday, monday feels like a saturday. i've lost my sense of time, and everytime i feel very lethargic. coupled with the haze and the boredom of things. i'm totally having the 'whatever!' attitude right now.
been spending alot of time with iman in camp nowadays, he's like a very close buddy to me. in our conversations we have touched on alot of things, and we have agreed on a few things. and 1 things stands out.
the fact that we both find women, or girls, or whatever, to be very ridiculous in nature. or in malay, 'perempuan memang merepek!' really. i can quote specific examples, but as of now i'm already treading on dangerous paths. hence i shall keep them to myselves. but really. nowadays i find the behaviour, the attitude and the mindset of girls to be particularly disturbing. sometimes some girls are hypocrites themselves. and with the emotions and all, it doesn't really helps. one moment they can say they won't do 1 thing, the next moment you see them doing the exact same thing they said they would never do. they expect us to be forgiving when they themselves aren't. some even go back on their words, and never keep their promises. some just have this attitude that simply isn't ladylike. and guys are suppose to please such girls? please la, i think guys got better things to do.
as i say i'm referring to the general female generation as a whole. and i'm not sexist, or an egoist. or do i champion the notion that guys are superior to girls. i just feel that females can never think rationally and sensibly, what with all the emotions and their 'heart vs head' thing, and or their politicking and backbiting whatnot. which results in my phrase - 'perempuan memang merepek'.
which is really true. for all the childish and immature manners of guys nowadays, at least i believe most are level-headed and can think rationally and sensibly. we are not so emotionally unstable i guess.
oh well, like i said, it is just an opinion. so don't throw your kitchen sink at me girls.
as they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
work
so tomorrow the new batch of recruits will be enlisting. so another 2 months of doing the same thing all over again. on a lighter note, i've benn relieved of ALL my responsibilites and duties! haha. i used to hold several appointments in camp (which i don't see the need to mention) and furthermore, i've been relegated from the role of a platoon sergeant to section commander! haha! that's total relinquishing of my powers, position and responsibilities! but heck. it means i shall have a slightly easier time in camp. i think.
but the training schedule kinda sucks, since most of my saturdays will be spent in camp. can forget about celebrating hari raya too. anyways there's always a hari raya every year. and it is frankly becoming less and less meaningful for me. so heck. at least it's october now, so we are all gearing up for the year's end! there's alot of things to think about for now.
especially my future! whether i want to matriculate earlier, in may instead of in august. there's alot of things the future holds. frankly speaking, i really fear for my future. the market in singapore is getting so saturated. sham mentioned a friends whos got a degree with honours still finding a job, after 6 months of graduationg. with honours! kinda makes me think, how about me?
how will things pan out in the near future? all is so uncertain. that's why sometimes i like to bask in the past. at least it has already happened. but of the future? it's inevitable that one will have to think of it. and the dreams that everyone will have, will the ever be fulfilled?
like mine! i have dreams!
1) i want a BMW! by the age of 35 hopefully?haha
2) i want to go to Europe, and especially Moscow! to see all the relics from the communist era!
3) a class 4 licence! to drive a bus!
4) to be a professor! haha. i really want to go on tv and talk all those things about elections, political developments, you know like those talk shows on CNA! haha
5) a lasik surgery! to correct my poor lazy eyes. (is it possible?)
6) drop by ashburton grove and catch an arsenal match live!(i would have loved to visit the old highbury though...)
abit far-fetched some of them might sound, but i mean who doesn't have such dreams? but it's tough to actually achieve them. it's too unrealistic some of them, if you consider the current situations in singapore today. ah its a dog eat dog world i guess.
times are tough, and they won't get any easier.
oh well, happy fasting everyone!
but the training schedule kinda sucks, since most of my saturdays will be spent in camp. can forget about celebrating hari raya too. anyways there's always a hari raya every year. and it is frankly becoming less and less meaningful for me. so heck. at least it's october now, so we are all gearing up for the year's end! there's alot of things to think about for now.
especially my future! whether i want to matriculate earlier, in may instead of in august. there's alot of things the future holds. frankly speaking, i really fear for my future. the market in singapore is getting so saturated. sham mentioned a friends whos got a degree with honours still finding a job, after 6 months of graduationg. with honours! kinda makes me think, how about me?
how will things pan out in the near future? all is so uncertain. that's why sometimes i like to bask in the past. at least it has already happened. but of the future? it's inevitable that one will have to think of it. and the dreams that everyone will have, will the ever be fulfilled?
like mine! i have dreams!
1) i want a BMW! by the age of 35 hopefully?haha
2) i want to go to Europe, and especially Moscow! to see all the relics from the communist era!
3) a class 4 licence! to drive a bus!
4) to be a professor! haha. i really want to go on tv and talk all those things about elections, political developments, you know like those talk shows on CNA! haha
5) a lasik surgery! to correct my poor lazy eyes. (is it possible?)
6) drop by ashburton grove and catch an arsenal match live!(i would have loved to visit the old highbury though...)
abit far-fetched some of them might sound, but i mean who doesn't have such dreams? but it's tough to actually achieve them. it's too unrealistic some of them, if you consider the current situations in singapore today. ah its a dog eat dog world i guess.
times are tough, and they won't get any easier.
oh well, happy fasting everyone!
Monday, October 02, 2006
peters
russell peters is coming to town! this coming weekend!
according to hadi. but i can't make it to see him! i'll be confined in camp this weekend! damn! i like him! fot those of you who don't know him, do yourself a favour and try and download his videos! his really funny. but anyway the cheapest tickets come at $87 anyway. that's quite expensive. but still, it's not like you get to see russell peters live everyday you know. sigh.
on and brighter note, today i met shahidah. the one long lost friend i've been trying to find for the past 10 years. finally after one freaking decade, i've finally seen her again. on children's day at that! essentially she still looks the same like in 1996. apparently so do i, to her, but i really beg to differ. i wonder if another 10 years, we'll still look 20?haha
yup so went over to the national library at bras basah , borrowed some books then walked around till we reach the library @ esplanade. i must clarify. it isn't like we love books, it's just that i would have loved to chat over coffee at starbucks. but its the fasting month! and in the hot afternoon sun, i didnt want to soak in the sun by the river. so library @ esplanade it was.
it's a nice feeling to actually catch up on people's lives, especially of those whom you haven't seen for quite a while. i don't know if a decade is quite a while, but ya there was alot of catching up to do. just sitting down and talk an reminisce. quite fun actually. shahidah never changed. from the posture, to the voice, to the looks. haha. it's remarkable, that fact.
oh yours truly is on duty tomorrow. great, just great.
anyways, to the stranger:
ah! now i now who you are. haha. yup i won't say the name. but its interesting that you read my blog? the other day you said my blog was boring! haha. but thanks anyway for tagging. see you around!
oh and you could probably leave yr blog link? thanks!
oh well.
happy children's day!
it's real funny how i can't remember by primary school song yet i can remember the children's day song. the song that in reality we sing only 6 times in our lifetime.
according to hadi. but i can't make it to see him! i'll be confined in camp this weekend! damn! i like him! fot those of you who don't know him, do yourself a favour and try and download his videos! his really funny. but anyway the cheapest tickets come at $87 anyway. that's quite expensive. but still, it's not like you get to see russell peters live everyday you know. sigh.
on and brighter note, today i met shahidah. the one long lost friend i've been trying to find for the past 10 years. finally after one freaking decade, i've finally seen her again. on children's day at that! essentially she still looks the same like in 1996. apparently so do i, to her, but i really beg to differ. i wonder if another 10 years, we'll still look 20?haha
yup so went over to the national library at bras basah , borrowed some books then walked around till we reach the library @ esplanade. i must clarify. it isn't like we love books, it's just that i would have loved to chat over coffee at starbucks. but its the fasting month! and in the hot afternoon sun, i didnt want to soak in the sun by the river. so library @ esplanade it was.
it's a nice feeling to actually catch up on people's lives, especially of those whom you haven't seen for quite a while. i don't know if a decade is quite a while, but ya there was alot of catching up to do. just sitting down and talk an reminisce. quite fun actually. shahidah never changed. from the posture, to the voice, to the looks. haha. it's remarkable, that fact.
oh yours truly is on duty tomorrow. great, just great.
anyways, to the stranger:
ah! now i now who you are. haha. yup i won't say the name. but its interesting that you read my blog? the other day you said my blog was boring! haha. but thanks anyway for tagging. see you around!
oh and you could probably leave yr blog link? thanks!
oh well.
happy children's day!
it's real funny how i can't remember by primary school song yet i can remember the children's day song. the song that in reality we sing only 6 times in our lifetime.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
p sch friends
SHIT!
it's getting on my nerves.
the fact that i really can't remember ALOT of my primary school people.
it's really an obsession! the more i unravel,the more i find out about people that did exist yet i can't recall anything about them! it's extremely annoying. names are just tossed upon me,but somehow i can't put a face to it! it's as if they never existed at all,but the others know them so well.
damn! it's really annoying. ah how i wished my primary school had a yearbook then! it would have probably saved all my troubles and relieve me of my worries! i wonder why they couldn't do so then.
oh wells. at least i've found those who i really wanted to find. like i mentioned earlier, shahidah. wonder how she really looks like now. used to talk to her often back in primary and then suddenly she left school, and 10 years on shes found me through this very blog! and then there's nadhirah too. chatty and very jovial, i find her nice to talk nonsense with. haha. nice gal. and suhaila. just chatted with her just now. so who else can i find??
haha pardon my obsession with this. it's just it has been so long, and i'm really curious to know how everyone's getting along. it fun to see people suddenly change after so long not running into them. oh like emelind, this girl from my class in jc for the 1st 3 months. shes now like totally changed! from a quie,t aloof, plump and the bookworm type of gal, shes now changed to 1 hot thang! the transformation is so drastic! it's really unbelievable, the changes. is amazing.
i think i should try and start reading again. hisham's hooked on reading now, so i better follow suit. my command of english now is really disapproving. horrendous! but i can't find books that i like. i only like to read books by agatha christie, that also when she writes on hercule poirot. that's all. on and of course, sherlock holmes. what weird tastes i have, you might say. oh well, i only like to read such classic thriller or rather mystery novels.
why? because they emphasise on the thought process. i mean during the victorian age there wasn't like the use of DNA or any type of forensic science involved. so it's amazing to me how poirot and holmes can solve mysteries just by using the method of thought and logic. find me weird, but it's all fascinating. the da vinci code doesn't really capture my imagination anyway. and i've yet to read it though. but it's too thick for my liking.
to the beautiful stranger:
seriously, i wonder who you are. and i really thank you for the advice. i'm really normally unlike this, and it was really a sudden outburst of things. usually i can take it in my stride. now things are picking up again. but really, i wanna know who you are. i'm sure you know how it bugs me that i can't recall any of my primary school friends. and since we've apparently crossed paths b4, i would like to think i can remember you! and thanks for tagging! haha.
but really.
who are you, beautiful stranger?
it's getting on my nerves.
the fact that i really can't remember ALOT of my primary school people.
it's really an obsession! the more i unravel,the more i find out about people that did exist yet i can't recall anything about them! it's extremely annoying. names are just tossed upon me,but somehow i can't put a face to it! it's as if they never existed at all,but the others know them so well.
damn! it's really annoying. ah how i wished my primary school had a yearbook then! it would have probably saved all my troubles and relieve me of my worries! i wonder why they couldn't do so then.
oh wells. at least i've found those who i really wanted to find. like i mentioned earlier, shahidah. wonder how she really looks like now. used to talk to her often back in primary and then suddenly she left school, and 10 years on shes found me through this very blog! and then there's nadhirah too. chatty and very jovial, i find her nice to talk nonsense with. haha. nice gal. and suhaila. just chatted with her just now. so who else can i find??
haha pardon my obsession with this. it's just it has been so long, and i'm really curious to know how everyone's getting along. it fun to see people suddenly change after so long not running into them. oh like emelind, this girl from my class in jc for the 1st 3 months. shes now like totally changed! from a quie,t aloof, plump and the bookworm type of gal, shes now changed to 1 hot thang! the transformation is so drastic! it's really unbelievable, the changes. is amazing.
i think i should try and start reading again. hisham's hooked on reading now, so i better follow suit. my command of english now is really disapproving. horrendous! but i can't find books that i like. i only like to read books by agatha christie, that also when she writes on hercule poirot. that's all. on and of course, sherlock holmes. what weird tastes i have, you might say. oh well, i only like to read such classic thriller or rather mystery novels.
why? because they emphasise on the thought process. i mean during the victorian age there wasn't like the use of DNA or any type of forensic science involved. so it's amazing to me how poirot and holmes can solve mysteries just by using the method of thought and logic. find me weird, but it's all fascinating. the da vinci code doesn't really capture my imagination anyway. and i've yet to read it though. but it's too thick for my liking.
to the beautiful stranger:
seriously, i wonder who you are. and i really thank you for the advice. i'm really normally unlike this, and it was really a sudden outburst of things. usually i can take it in my stride. now things are picking up again. but really, i wanna know who you are. i'm sure you know how it bugs me that i can't recall any of my primary school friends. and since we've apparently crossed paths b4, i would like to think i can remember you! and thanks for tagging! haha.
but really.
who are you, beautiful stranger?
Friday, September 29, 2006
licence
to stranger:
whoever you may be
yup, you're right. it was just an irrational outburst. oh well, just had to let go of all the things bottling up inside. actually there ain't not bottomless pit. thanks for your words anyway, though it would be nice if you could really identify yourself? i mean i'm seriously always open to constructive criticisms.
but really. life's now has become better. because of 3 main things.
1) i finally can drive LEGALLY! finally i've passed my class 3 traffic police test. n i can drive legally! haha hell yeah. after the last traffc polic test 1 and a half years ago (it is THAT long), finally i've passed it on the 2nd attempt. my circuit was perfect, save for that emergency brake. but my road was quite horrible. frankly speaking as i drove i wasn't sure if i was gonna pass, since the tester didn't even bother to tick my mistakes as i went along. only towards the end then he made notes on the checklist - and i PASSED! yeah! 16 points! quite alot actually,but heck - the main most important thing is that i've PASSED! haha. although the car won't come so soon though. dad won't buy 1, so i guess i'll have to wait out 15 years for that elusive BMW?haha. dream on balls! till then i can only drive people mad i guess.
2) my obsession with finding my primary school friends. progress has been a blast. found back shahidah, the one girl i've been trying to find since she transferred out at the end of primary 4. and that's like 10 years ago. that's a freaking decade, balls! and she found me! so elated! finally the search ends! and i've found nadhirah, a friend from all the way back in primary 1! whos face i can still recognise. haha. and a few others, whom i've found on friendster and the sort. wow it's quite amazing actually to see how people have grown up over the past 8 years or so. the changes for some are really drastic! haha,or rather for most of them. i wish i could meet more of them. and see if they can remember me.
the most irritating thing is that people remember me but not so vice versa. it so freaking pisses me off! haha. to think i was so low profile then. haha but the photos noriza supplied me have been very useful! thanks man for the pictures! and the help people have extended to me. it's all been really helpful. but i wanna find even more of them! haha.
3) well, i don't think i can mention this, though it really takes a huge burden of my shoulder! haha but is okay, i'll keep it to myself.
but so far things have been a blast. life's gone back to normal now. haha. ok so till then.
whoever you may be
yup, you're right. it was just an irrational outburst. oh well, just had to let go of all the things bottling up inside. actually there ain't not bottomless pit. thanks for your words anyway, though it would be nice if you could really identify yourself? i mean i'm seriously always open to constructive criticisms.
but really. life's now has become better. because of 3 main things.
1) i finally can drive LEGALLY! finally i've passed my class 3 traffic police test. n i can drive legally! haha hell yeah. after the last traffc polic test 1 and a half years ago (it is THAT long), finally i've passed it on the 2nd attempt. my circuit was perfect, save for that emergency brake. but my road was quite horrible. frankly speaking as i drove i wasn't sure if i was gonna pass, since the tester didn't even bother to tick my mistakes as i went along. only towards the end then he made notes on the checklist - and i PASSED! yeah! 16 points! quite alot actually,but heck - the main most important thing is that i've PASSED! haha. although the car won't come so soon though. dad won't buy 1, so i guess i'll have to wait out 15 years for that elusive BMW?haha. dream on balls! till then i can only drive people mad i guess.
2) my obsession with finding my primary school friends. progress has been a blast. found back shahidah, the one girl i've been trying to find since she transferred out at the end of primary 4. and that's like 10 years ago. that's a freaking decade, balls! and she found me! so elated! finally the search ends! and i've found nadhirah, a friend from all the way back in primary 1! whos face i can still recognise. haha. and a few others, whom i've found on friendster and the sort. wow it's quite amazing actually to see how people have grown up over the past 8 years or so. the changes for some are really drastic! haha,or rather for most of them. i wish i could meet more of them. and see if they can remember me.
the most irritating thing is that people remember me but not so vice versa. it so freaking pisses me off! haha. to think i was so low profile then. haha but the photos noriza supplied me have been very useful! thanks man for the pictures! and the help people have extended to me. it's all been really helpful. but i wanna find even more of them! haha.
3) well, i don't think i can mention this, though it really takes a huge burden of my shoulder! haha but is okay, i'll keep it to myself.
but so far things have been a blast. life's gone back to normal now. haha. ok so till then.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
low
i'm at my lowest ebbs now.
i've had enough. one moment i can be happy, then the next moment things take a turn for the worst.
WHY?
i'm starting to lose confidence in myself. i'm starting to hate myself for what i am and for what i'm not.
fad's right. we are all nobody. unlike those who can fork out the money to get a place in the london imperial college, or who can drive a bmw 7 series to school, or have enough money to open a few bottles on a night out. fad's really right. at the end of the day, study so hard and get a degree, we'll still have competitors. even in school we are all struggling. what makes us think we can stand out?
especially me.
what do i have? or what don't i have?
i'm just a freaking 3rd sgt whos been charged before.
whos always getting fucked by my superiors.
who isn't well liked and popular among the recruits.
who will never get promoted.
who always cocks up his job.
who can't drive, not even ride a bike.
who doesn't know a thing abt IT and computers.
who can't sing.
who can't play soccer.
who can't swim.
who can't excel in sports.
who can't really talk.
who can't get along well with everyone.
who can never get the girls.
why? simply because i'm a LOSER, and a NOBODY. fad's right. no matter how hard we try, we will always lose out to other people who's always better in 1 way or another. what would the opposite see in us anyway?
or me at least. i can't even raise my own spirits up.
must it always happen to me? i wonder why. same shit, different day. and it always happens.
is it just me?
i just feel like fading away.
nothing i do is ever right.
you know what? i don't care.
if people wanna be selfish then i don't see why i shouldn't be selfish too.
why be nice when people don't even appreciate it at all?
you know what?
i give up.
i give up on myself and whatever hopes and dreams i have held all these while.
i've had enough. one moment i can be happy, then the next moment things take a turn for the worst.
WHY?
i'm starting to lose confidence in myself. i'm starting to hate myself for what i am and for what i'm not.
fad's right. we are all nobody. unlike those who can fork out the money to get a place in the london imperial college, or who can drive a bmw 7 series to school, or have enough money to open a few bottles on a night out. fad's really right. at the end of the day, study so hard and get a degree, we'll still have competitors. even in school we are all struggling. what makes us think we can stand out?
especially me.
what do i have? or what don't i have?
i'm just a freaking 3rd sgt whos been charged before.
whos always getting fucked by my superiors.
who isn't well liked and popular among the recruits.
who will never get promoted.
who always cocks up his job.
who can't drive, not even ride a bike.
who doesn't know a thing abt IT and computers.
who can't sing.
who can't play soccer.
who can't swim.
who can't excel in sports.
who can't really talk.
who can't get along well with everyone.
who can never get the girls.
why? simply because i'm a LOSER, and a NOBODY. fad's right. no matter how hard we try, we will always lose out to other people who's always better in 1 way or another. what would the opposite see in us anyway?
or me at least. i can't even raise my own spirits up.
must it always happen to me? i wonder why. same shit, different day. and it always happens.
is it just me?
i just feel like fading away.
nothing i do is ever right.
you know what? i don't care.
if people wanna be selfish then i don't see why i shouldn't be selfish too.
why be nice when people don't even appreciate it at all?
you know what?
i give up.
i give up on myself and whatever hopes and dreams i have held all these while.
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