raya

so i have been driving around lately.

on the 1st day of raya i drove around my aunt's mitsubishi lancer and my uncle's toyota wish. haha it's quite cool to drive actually. braving myself against e elements of the roads. but haha, apparently i drive too fast,above the speed limit, especially on the highways.

like just now. 110 on the kje. tsk tsk. haha, especially for new drivers like me. but im getting the feel of it i guess, especially when driving in packed areas, or driving in multi-storey carparks. i guess i've somewhat got the hang of how to park openly and in the multi-storey carparks. but of course, such things need more experience and practice. which i won't get that much. well, i guess that bmw will have to wait another 15 years then.haha.

oh and i drove in johor on day 2 of raya. and i was a complete idiot. from the customs in jb to my kampong, it takes about 20mins by car. i drove there in my uncle's proton wira. drove at max 80. the thing was, after i reached my kampong, i realised that i didn't let go of the handbrake AT ALL. the whole time i was driving at 80 with the handbrake not released. can u imagine that? i probably burned through the whole brake system (which i hope didn't happen, although my uncle didn't say anything!). i felt really bad about it, 'cause i know the brake would have heated up pretty much alot. really hope it's all ok. it doesn't help that his wira is quite old and broken down here and there.

but at least i could go back to my kampong and visit my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousin. oh i have this hot cousin from my kampong! haha. she's really attractive. the thing is, i don't know her name, her age. i'm serious. the thing about my paternal side is that it's rather shady. far flung relatives, divorces, marriages turning bad and the unwillingness to keep in contact. i think this hot cousin of mine is younger than i am, but that's about it. i was like wow, since when i had such a hot cousin?haha. oh well i guess the next time i'll see her is next year then. next year then i ask! haha.

so far raya's been okay. i didn't get much money,but i'm not complaining. it's really about meeting the people you don't see everyday, and catch up on their lives and stuffs. and see how people grow up so fast. and people will admire how i've grown up so fast. haha it's all the same.

what are you doing now? after NS do what? in NS what's your vocation? wah why are you so dark? wah, you're so tall! and the rare questions will come like where's the wife? (someone asked this just now!) haha. it's all very mundane but hey, it's fun to see the far-flung relatives and the 2nd and 3rd cousins etc.

ah but next week i'm confined in camp, so no visiting! ah i guess there's always next year.

ah till then, selamat hari raya all!

hari raya

so today is the last day of fasting. flashback to a year ago.

i was actually charging up and down the forests and hills of taiwan. and on hari raya itself, we were all so down, and even ended up crying together. to be away in a the jungles of a foreign land on the most celebrated day in the muslim calendar is a really harrowing experience.

so fast forward back to today. still i can't feel the hari raya mood. it doesn't help that alot of weekends will be burnt in camp. oh well, life's like that. on a brighter note i didnt skip a single day of fastingh since day 1. which is quite an achievement. although i did try to find avenues to try and sleep and rest as an when i could in camp. but i guess this wasn't such a great ramadhan for me, i think and i hope to do better for the next month. basically the only plus point was that i didn't skip any days.

although this year i sent out quite a few hari raya cards. realised after going through my stuffs i had some hari raya cards left, so why not send them out? although not all have received them. haha but the feedback is always the same - you're probably the ONLY one to send me a hari raya card this year, or this will probably be my ONLY hari raya card this year, and that my handwriting is totally illegible.

i plead guilty to e 2nd point. firstly my handwriting isn't as neat as it used to be 10 years ago. secondly i had to rush through to make the cards! but haha even i myself have problems figuring out my own handwriting sometimes. so sorry for the illegibility though! haha, shall work on it the next time round.

i myself didn't receive any this year, since its more convenient for people to just sms each other. haha i only got a note by mail from clare and attached to it a replacement commie chain for the one that i lost last month. haha thanks though, even if it isn't really a hari raya card! haha. at least something came through the mail.

anyway yesterday i dropped by fab's house. he went to china last week and bought me communist stuffs from there. a whole lot of things. especially the huge ass mao zedong posters. oh and i have an english little red book! and a mao bag, a mao lighter, a mao pendant clock and mao badges. everything mao!

so mistake me for having a morbid perversion for all things communist. its just a simple fascincation with communism, especially soviet russia. imagine how such a ideology that many believed could never work but could scare the whole globe for 50 years or so. everyone was so paranoid about whoever was communist, and as far as possible everyone else tried to wipe them out. even though the USSR eventually collapsed, but it's legacy still prevails. and people still fear communism, even though they know it's an ideology doomed to fail.

and communism has thar fervour, the nationalistic fervour, the patriotic fervour. that was able to drive home the point to masses that live in then USSR n China. that was able to galvanise the masses in the efforts of building up the country. of achieving the communist utopia. amazing isn't it? such an ideology could drive millions to actually conslave themselves for the good of the nation.

but i'm not a commie, strictly speaking. i just find the whole commie thing fascinating and interesting. haha. someday i shall go to moscow and probably st. petersburg and collect even more relics from the days of the USSR! haha stalins mini-statuettes, badges, uniform, propaganda posters and what not! haha. someday i hope i can go!

so to all of you, apologies to anyone whom i've hurt through my actions and words.

and with that selamat hari raya!

rock climbing

my body is aching right now.

firstly, i went to the gym for the first time since before i enlisted yesterday and had a short workout that lasted around 40 minutes maybe?

secondly today i went indoor rock climbing for the 1st time ever! with hisham and marcus. at this place at rangoon road. oh i suck at climbing, it's real hard when you've got no strength. gripping is so hard, and i'm now having callouses at my finger joints. now the pain has subsided though.

but rock climbing is a real eye opener for me. for someone who would rather laze around, it's quite interesting actually. to actually challenge yourself and see how far you can climb. i couldn't really scale that far, since i'm quite a novice, and i'm really not that cut out for this. but actually i realised what they said is true - gripping is one thing, but actually footwork is very crucial too. it helps to ease the pain exerted by the body on the hand actually.

but i kept falling down on the mattress. haha i guess my arms are too small. well that's what hafizah said - "yusri looks bigger now, but his arms are still small." i was like what?haha. what a comment. but it's true i guess. must beef up my arms! they look so spaghetti-like to me!haha.

must work out, hit the weights, probably climb around abit more here n there, and then i'll have the "i jsut came out of NS" body. haha. but the thing is i'm so darn freaking lazy.

anyway, on second thoughts i might just want to matriculate earlier. well i don't want to hang around in the outside world for too long. i want to get back to the 'hit the books' mood again, so that i won't lag behind so much when i come in next year.

ah alot of things on my mind now. things that i need to do next year expecially. all my thought are already on 2007! how i'm gonna organise myself, gonna get things ready for school, gonna do something about the mess in my room, gonna but this and that, gonna change things around etc etc. next year will be quite exciting i feel! can't wait actually for the year's end to come.

for then nightmare will then draw to its closing chapter.

class

so i'm actually blogging from camp now. had to drag my sorry ass just to book in in the morning today. but yesterday was an eventful day.

went down to NUS yesterday with some of my secondary school friends, for that early matriculation talk. found out after all that even if i go matriculate early, i might never graduate earlier. they encouraged us to actually take up the special term as a means of finding our feet back in the study mode, after 2 years of a brain freeze in NS. so in that case i might not marticulate early. i guess i'll find a job first. i might actually work under wesley and make waffles for 1.2K a month. haha.

but i do want to travel. there's a certain yearning in me about travelling. about seeing things i don't see everyday. i wanna go to Eastern Europe! and Moscow and St. Petersburg! but it's too expensive, and i am sure to get lost. furthermore i might have to consume bread all the way through my trip i guess. but i wann go somewhere. reading the trips and expeditions that i read on the SAFRA newsletters seem interesting to me.haha. i might wanna try next year, we'll see how.

and then yesterday night i went to break fast with azhari, rushdy, hatta and shahidah. at this place called ramen ten at jubilee amg mo kio. not too bad, the food. although they didnt give us the dates that we ordered. i ordered some dry ramen, and it tasted quite all right. quite affordable too. ah it's always fun to catch up on each other's life and to reminisce.

and then we chilled at coffee bean at junction 8. by then hatta had left but nurul joined us later on. haha and we had more laughs and alot more discussions. wow, so it means ive met up with them more times this year alone than i had for the past 8 years since i left primary school. for such a ad-hoc and a haphazardly organised outing held by none other than yours truly, the turn out was considered not bad i guess. haha. next time we shall do it once more.

and reeza keeps asking me weird and thought-provoking questions! hmm! haha. very werid and out of the blue type, which baffles me! it's just so....weird.

ah my voice feels so weird too and i've now phlegm in my throat. ah the sickness that has gripped me since friday hasn't gone away. i'm still not 100% yet, probably 75% only?haha.

life is so mundane now. sometimes i feel like just dropping everything down and just run away.

things just seem so meaningless all the time. likes there's no purpose in doing things.

ah i wish all this would just end now.

break

ok so i got to book out for a while. tomorrowing morning gotta head back to camp. i booked out just to tend to a letter from NUS that needed my signature and the letter be posted back to them. and i've got the real driving licence! yeah! although my hair looks retarded in the photo.haha.

on a not so bright side, i almost got charged again in camp. but all should be okay now so worries. it's just disturbing that i'm always inviting trouble to myself without me realising it, and always getting myself into hot soup. i'm not really a troublemaker, it's just that at times i just cannot be bothered with things. either that or i'm just plain unlucky. and i've just found out i might be in hot soup for another incident which is totally not of my fault, nevertheless at the back of my mind i feel abit uneasy. oh well.

and things are getting so mundane. every day in camp is just a dread. things are going at a snail's pace, and sunday feels like a tuesday, monday feels like a saturday. i've lost my sense of time, and everytime i feel very lethargic. coupled with the haze and the boredom of things. i'm totally having the 'whatever!' attitude right now.

been spending alot of time with iman in camp nowadays, he's like a very close buddy to me. in our conversations we have touched on alot of things, and we have agreed on a few things. and 1 things stands out.

the fact that we both find women, or girls, or whatever, to be very ridiculous in nature. or in malay, 'perempuan memang merepek!' really. i can quote specific examples, but as of now i'm already treading on dangerous paths. hence i shall keep them to myselves. but really. nowadays i find the behaviour, the attitude and the mindset of girls to be particularly disturbing. sometimes some girls are hypocrites themselves. and with the emotions and all, it doesn't really helps. one moment they can say they won't do 1 thing, the next moment you see them doing the exact same thing they said they would never do. they expect us to be forgiving when they themselves aren't. some even go back on their words, and never keep their promises. some just have this attitude that simply isn't ladylike. and guys are suppose to please such girls? please la, i think guys got better things to do.

as i say i'm referring to the general female generation as a whole. and i'm not sexist, or an egoist. or do i champion the notion that guys are superior to girls. i just feel that females can never think rationally and sensibly, what with all the emotions and their 'heart vs head' thing, and or their politicking and backbiting whatnot. which results in my phrase - 'perempuan memang merepek'.

which is really true. for all the childish and immature manners of guys nowadays, at least i believe most are level-headed and can think rationally and sensibly. we are not so emotionally unstable i guess.

oh well, like i said, it is just an opinion. so don't throw your kitchen sink at me girls.

as they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

work

so tomorrow the new batch of recruits will be enlisting. so another 2 months of doing the same thing all over again. on a lighter note, i've benn relieved of ALL my responsibilites and duties! haha. i used to hold several appointments in camp (which i don't see the need to mention) and furthermore, i've been relegated from the role of a platoon sergeant to section commander! haha! that's total relinquishing of my powers, position and responsibilities! but heck. it means i shall have a slightly easier time in camp. i think.

but the training schedule kinda sucks, since most of my saturdays will be spent in camp. can forget about celebrating hari raya too. anyways there's always a hari raya every year. and it is frankly becoming less and less meaningful for me. so heck. at least it's october now, so we are all gearing up for the year's end! there's alot of things to think about for now.

especially my future! whether i want to matriculate earlier, in may instead of in august. there's alot of things the future holds. frankly speaking, i really fear for my future. the market in singapore is getting so saturated. sham mentioned a friends whos got a degree with honours still finding a job, after 6 months of graduationg. with honours! kinda makes me think, how about me?

how will things pan out in the near future? all is so uncertain. that's why sometimes i like to bask in the past. at least it has already happened. but of the future? it's inevitable that one will have to think of it. and the dreams that everyone will have, will the ever be fulfilled?

like mine! i have dreams!

1) i want a BMW! by the age of 35 hopefully?haha

2) i want to go to Europe, and especially Moscow! to see all the relics from the communist era!

3) a class 4 licence! to drive a bus!

4) to be a professor! haha. i really want to go on tv and talk all those things about elections, political developments, you know like those talk shows on CNA! haha

5) a lasik surgery! to correct my poor lazy eyes. (is it possible?)

6) drop by ashburton grove and catch an arsenal match live!(i would have loved to visit the old highbury though...)

abit far-fetched some of them might sound, but i mean who doesn't have such dreams? but it's tough to actually achieve them. it's too unrealistic some of them, if you consider the current situations in singapore today. ah its a dog eat dog world i guess.

times are tough, and they won't get any easier.

oh well, happy fasting everyone!

peters

russell peters is coming to town! this coming weekend!

according to hadi. but i can't make it to see him! i'll be confined in camp this weekend! damn! i like him! fot those of you who don't know him, do yourself a favour and try and download his videos! his really funny. but anyway the cheapest tickets come at $87 anyway. that's quite expensive. but still, it's not like you get to see russell peters live everyday you know. sigh.

on and brighter note, today i met shahidah. the one long lost friend i've been trying to find for the past 10 years. finally after one freaking decade, i've finally seen her again. on children's day at that! essentially she still looks the same like in 1996. apparently so do i, to her, but i really beg to differ. i wonder if another 10 years, we'll still look 20?haha

yup so went over to the national library at bras basah , borrowed some books then walked around till we reach the library @ esplanade. i must clarify. it isn't like we love books, it's just that i would have loved to chat over coffee at starbucks. but its the fasting month! and in the hot afternoon sun, i didnt want to soak in the sun by the river. so library @ esplanade it was.

it's a nice feeling to actually catch up on people's lives, especially of those whom you haven't seen for quite a while. i don't know if a decade is quite a while, but ya there was alot of catching up to do. just sitting down and talk an reminisce. quite fun actually. shahidah never changed. from the posture, to the voice, to the looks. haha. it's remarkable, that fact.

oh yours truly is on duty tomorrow. great, just great.

anyways, to the stranger:

ah! now i now who you are. haha. yup i won't say the name. but its interesting that you read my blog? the other day you said my blog was boring! haha. but thanks anyway for tagging. see you around!

oh and you could probably leave yr blog link? thanks!


oh well.

happy children's day!

it's real funny how i can't remember by primary school song yet i can remember the children's day song. the song that in reality we sing only 6 times in our lifetime.