end of year

so the end of year beckons.

what have i really achieved this year?

frankly speaking, nothing much to brag about. oh well except the much coveted driving licence. and alot of my materialistic aims have been achieved (upgrading the whole computer system, shoes, clothes etc).

on a side note, let me go through again how much i've been in these tow months (nov and dec) alone!

$149 + $25 + $399 + $69 + $178 + $15 = $835

wow. a grand total of $835. that doesn't even include all those spent on transport and food and the what-nots. right.

anyway the $174 was spent of two shoes, 1, an asics running shoes and another an adidas sneakers. i'm really thinking of buying that converse pair that costs just under $50. ah i'm really stocking up for my life after life.

back to the main topic.

what i've gained from this whole? actually it;s only lessons. lessons for life. things that only life in ns could have thought me at this stage of my life. like how i realise now, people are really diverse in every way possible. the only similiarity is that we are all human beings and that's all. people of all kinds of characters, personalities that you thought could never exist do actually exist.

it is interesting, this point, because it leads to another point - how do you deal with such a variety of people? since everyone else presents to you a different type of character and personality, definitely dealing with them cannot be through using a standard method. and so i've realised that i've really gotta handle different people differently. if not, i might just hurt their feelings, or they might get the wrong perception of me. it's a give and take world, i guess. it's all so complex.

and working withpeople can be such a chore. and that would lead to another point - what about my future working life? what if i don't really personally like my colleagues? so how? i can;t really choose how i want my colleagues to be like. i can't choose my working environtment, neither can i choose my superiors. it's all fated to be like that, like it or not. freedom to choose is really bullshit i guess. how can one choose how they want to live? given the aspirations and the needs that we need to fulfil, are we really able to live life they way we want it? i think that's too much wishful thinking.

life is really about choices, they say. but some things have already been pre-decided for you. so what's there to be choosy about? anyway in singapore, i believe there's not much of a choice on how we can really live our lives. it's all so preset, so pre-determined, so fake.

well, we ain't got much of choice do we? life goes on, and you live only once. oh well.

on a brighter note, the jc class gathering that i'm organinsing, the response has been quite encouraging. i hope things turn out okay though. i'mn really looking forward to it, since everyone hasn't seen each other for quite a while. hope all goes to plan and almost all will turn out.

looking forward to the new year, and of course, the life after life!