confused

it has been a crazy past week.

with all the tests and assignments and essays due, it's really madness.

and i'm not the buziest of all the peoples. there are like so many of the others out there who have had 1 hell of a week, and are going to have a hell of a week and hellish days for the weeks to come. i'm feeling strained too because of assignments that are piling up, which for most i don't really have any idea on how to start on them.

i'm feeling rather lethargic nowadays due to lack of regular sleep, and neither do i have any mood to do work anyway. then again i don't have the mood to do alot of things to either. the general slump is really worrying but i can't be bothered to arrest it. haha.

(skip the next paragraph if you don't follow football.)

okay so here's the thing - how can any team beat milan 2-0 at the san siro, but only manage to secure a 0-0 draw against wigan? it's mind-boggling but it happened. it makes me frustrated as a fan of arsenal, but football is like that. and i missed all the champions league matches despite wanting to watch them in the first place. i just couldn't imagine only turning in at 6am after watching all the matches, and that would mean being zombie-ish in the school the following morning. so basically my only diet of football would be select la liga and serie a matches, largely thanks to the antenna's ability to tap into indonesian channel networks. but la liga isn't that boring too actually. valencia actually plays good football, and it's the kind that's quite pleasing to watch. ever banega is really good in real life. too bad they took a 2-0 lead, only to be pegged back to 2-2 by halftime. anyway inter is quite on a roll in serie a, but seriously their defence is quite weak i think. a team like reggina could actually test the inter defence with shots that with abit more luck, could have just turned into goals. it's no wonder inter couldn't hold up against liverpool. i think inter will still be knocked out anyway, since i think pool have the capacity to beat inter even at the san siro.

(skip the next paragraph if you don't follow politics, especially malaysian politics.)

well well, so bn got trounced at the polls. i can't help thinking that abdullah called for the polls too early. but i think it's because he wants to console by trying to gain legitimacy for his rule in the aftermath of problems plauging the government. and if he held the elections any later, anwar would have qualified to take part in the elections too anyway. but then again i still feel he called for elections too early. and bn paid the price for it. they lost 4 states (that's really alot mind you) to the opposition. so now it would really be interesting to see how the whole thing pans out. the thing about malaysia is, its among the more democratic countries in southeast asia. democratic in the sense that at least results in the polls are not overturned by a declaration of martial law or complete disregard to the election results (think philippines and burma/myanmar). what makes it more interesting is that this election results is part of 1 of the modules that i'm taking - government and politics of southeast asia. as in the results will affect the syllabus of the module with regards to malaysian politics. but it is interesting to see if bn, or more specifically umno, can regenerate or reinvent itself and then regain back lost ground in the next elections.

anyway i think enough of the melancholic series. haha. i can say now i'm not that sad anymore. but it's changed to confusion. okay now i'm really really confused about a few things. a lot of matters have suddenly surfaced, and old facts and knowledge have suddenly been give new twists to them. this whole confusion thing is really driving my brain nuts. sadness is the disease of the heart, confusion seems to be the disease of the mind. i get weighed down by all the considerations and decisions i have to make with myself. i need to do alot of soul-searching, and self-reflection. i need a guiding light, i need a moment of truth, and i need the peace of mind.

but most importantly - i need a sign. God help me.