night cycling is over

okay so the night cycling event is over! haha.

well as expected the event started late. i knew it would just start late haha. but at least it ended on time. well to tell you all the truth if you ask me to review the event, i'll tell you frankly i feel like that whole night was just a dream. i feel very numb about it. it's like the whole thing passed through, like it never happened. haha. on the whole i think the event was carried out decently.

i mean, alot of people were quite perturbed already about the not-so-safe nature of the route. well some made their feelings clear, but i felt at the end of the day things turned out okay. well of course, the power of hindsight tells me we could have done better. but i think considering what had happened, i think we did what we could. i felt i had the right people in my team in the right places, and we all kinda helped each other out.

but i hope everyone had a great time during the event. i had fun though organising the event. at least firstly, no thanks to me actually handpicking most of the members of my committee. haha. reeks of corruption, nepotism and cronyism doesn't it? haha but it's important! at least the meeting doesn't have to be mostly conducted in a highly tense level i think. although of course we have had our fair share of friction, but i think overall it was excellent working with them. i am only the first among equals, and not a cut above the rest. so thank you to my committee members! and very sorry if i did rub you all on the wrong side. figuratively, of course.

oh and thanks to everyone else who contributed to the event in any ways. i truly appreciate all the effort! whether as outriders, drivers, medics, facilitators, photographers, marshallers and even participants, many thanks to all of you. without all your help the event could not have been carried out. so yes, i appreciate all of your help and assistance.

so now, it's back to work! haha. tried reading my history book just now, but really, i have never been a fan of chinese history, with their 1001 dynasties and what not. but the government and politics of southeast asia module that i'm taking seems interesting. the readings seem interesting too! haha. that's a first. so now full focus on studies! that's it, no more being part of any organising committees for me i feel. firstly i think that's enough for me, secondly i don't think i can ever work in a specialised job like doing logistics or marketing. i'll die doing such specific work. at least as a project director, i can delegate stuffs and probably do what i think i can do within my means. and anyway i don't want to be a project director anymore in any case so yes, im swearing off all organising committees then! haha.

so now i somewhat regain back my normal life as an undergraduate. trying to balance studies and my cca, and making new friends too along the way. and dealing with stuffs that i chucked aside temporarily.

like feelings. i suppose i have to face them again. honestly, i've been feeling numb ever since my event ended. so i don't know how or what to feel about things. i have no idea why i'm in such a state. like everything is so draggy and i'm just slowly getting to grip things. i think i shall slow drag myself out of this slumber eventually. but it's painfully slow though.

dear you,
i just can't seem to let go. and i don't know if i want to either.